Gwen Stefani: The Lion and The L.A.M.B. – An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes time out of his busy day after Halloween to reflect on just how awesome a girl like Gwen Stefani must be. She's a great singer, a mother, a wife, and a seamstress with her own clothing line. Hmmm…. the wheels in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's head start spinning out of control till he realizes the train has not left the station yet. 158 tunes must be written for a little girl before the big show. He has only one chance to reach a person with the stature of Gwen. So Chief Crazy Captain Christo does what any red blooded American male would do. He CREATES his opportunity to shine onstage with none other than Gwen Renee Stefani Rossdale. Here is his plan in a nutshell:

Goes out an buys a Dimebag Darrell Razorback Explosion guitar. Why wait for Warren Buffett hint hint!

Goes out an buys an airbrush with paint and starts airbrushing Gwen as an ANGEL.

Goes out an buys a skateboard ( more on that later!)

Goes out an builds the world's largest skateboard ramp in Omaha Nebraska that practically looks like it could double for Noah's Ark

Goes out and airbrushes ANGEL pictures on said skateboard ramp with other ANGELS from all walks of AMERICAN life.

Goes out of his mind when he forgets to ask for help.

Asks for help and GETS IT!

Goes out and Airbrushes a LION at the Top of the Ramp

Goes out of his way to place AMPLIFIERS in all the right places so wherever you are situated

on the ramp, you can hear a pin drop.

Goes out and hires Gwen Stefani, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Jewel, Avril Lavigne, and Michelle Branch to overlook the stage performance of a lifetime. At just the right moment when the crowd is chanting for a certain girl ( who will not be named yet ) I will suddenly be surrounded by 1000 of the most beautiful ANGEL faces on the Planet. This is when the Crystal Ship will be raising anchor and the wind will indeed begin to howl!

Now in order for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to pull off this daring display of unadulterated passion, extreme cooperation will be needed by all parties involved. So without further going into detail, the most important person for this project will be GWEN STEFANI. It is required of Gwen to be willing to make sure my girlfriend is onstage with me singing as well. So I am switching mode to the O-Range Blob of Light and transforming over to meet with Gwen Stefani right now. SKA Douche ( Kung Fu Panda!)

Half kind of expecting me, Gwen Stefani Rossdale meets me with these exact words. For this piece, Gwen is going by the name Gwest Ro

Gwest Ro. : ” Don't Speak! Let me guess. You're the infamous no ones ever heard of before Chief Crazy Captain Christo!

O-Range Blob of Light- ” What's a pretty L.A.M.B like you talking to a LION like me. I am hear to lay down some hot licks and you kind of need to understand why. OK first off, I need you Gwest Ro.

You are the perfect woman to help me pull this off. There is a little girl who will need our help in the future so as words from my past have often hinted ' The future's here we are it and we are on our own.'”

Gwest Ro- ” Tight tune man! But in case you haven't noticed I have more of a funky ska thing going.”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Yeah so what's your point. Love Angel Music Baby Lives In Our Nation.

I need you Mrs Rossdale to jam out around three to ten songs over the course of say the next thirty three years. If done right, you will end up being an Academy Award winning actress or songstress or seamstress or maybe even the first director duo to win for best director. The point I am trying to make

is this. Help me write and produce and record three songs and you will be able to write you own ticket to paradise. And seeing by the size of your family, you might need four tickets. With me tickets are expandable. So if you and Gavin feel the need to expand, so shall the Kingdom. Now what do you say Gwen. Or as Jack Sparrow might say, What say you Gwen?”

Gwest Ro-” Let me ask my husband Gavin tomorrow cause I think he's still trying to find his a**hole brother in L.A. Wow, you kind of caught me off guard there but it sounds like a cool idea. Your girlfriend must really trust you”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Yea we have a pretty cool trust thing going. We flipped a 50 cent piece and I won. Don't tell her that it was a two headed coin>).

Gwest Ro-” That's terrible! Hey can I borrow it. I want my husband to do a few things around the house while I'm gone!”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Yea sure! Here you go. And hey I hope you don't mind but I came up with a name for your movie studio if you go that route.

Gwest Ro- ” Oh yeah what is it?

O-Range Blob of Light- ” I'll tell you in January 2010 OK. Later Angel Momma Babe!”

Gwest Ro- ” Hollaback in January 2010 or don't bother buddy!”

O-Range Blob of Light-” Oh hey can you stand one final request. Would you know how to get a hold of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models? You know like all of them. I've got a special video that has to do with airbrushing and I need their help as well.” Gwest Ro just smiled and laughed rather loudly I can't wait to flip that coin! I love the Great Pumpkin and the Pumpkin Patch, don't you?

Stay tuned and find out in January 2010 what the name of the studio is going to be called. This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters

A traditional karate suit is an important part of any karate enthusiast’s kit and as with any product; there are different quality materials that can be purchased so it is worth taking time to consider the options prior to purchase. A karate suit by its very nature needs to be robust as sparring sessions will test the material comprehensively. It is worth remembering that although the karate suit must be hardy, it must also be flexible otherwise the student will find that they are restricted in movement and this then defeats the object.

Due to the different styles of karate, variations of design are available; however the easiest way to ensure that the right style is purchased is to check out the suits that other students are wearing at the karate club of your choice. Existing students or the instructor will be happy to give guidance when it comes to locating a supplier in order to purchase a suit and also will advise as regards the exact style necessary.  A karate suit (is also known as a karategi) and is similar to a judo suit in style although one noticeable difference is that many karate students wear their belts much longer.

Each student can choose the weight of suit that feels right for them on a personal level so ideally it is useful to at least try the suit on in the shop or to take a look at a suit worn by students at the club as this will answer many of the questions you might have.  Many newer students favour the lightweight suits, but although the look and feel is important, remember that karate training is arduous and will place physical demands on the clothing as well as the student, so investing in a higher quality material is advantageous in the long term.

Weights vary but typically are:

• 8oz – Very lightweight material that could easily tear or rip.
• 10oz –cotton canvas which is more durable
• 12oz – Average weight choice of many students
• 14 oz –Additionally durable but also a popular choice
• 16 oz – A heavier fabric favoured by more experienced practitioners.

Younger students realistically need not purchase the most expensive quality suit as they may need to replace them due to out-growing them over a period of time and this would then become an expensive purchase, in addition, many younger students tend to lose interest over a period of time or become attracted to new sports or different martial arts styles and therefore, an expensive purchase would just become too extravagant.

The most important thing to remember prior to purchasing is comfort, flexibility and durability and this will ensure that your karate suit will be a good buy for some time to come.